As a starter sex toy for so many women across the world, the bullet vibrator is one of those amazing unifying things that comes up after a couple of glasses of wine with your friends. “Oh my god, I have one of those too!” can be heard echoing through front rooms and cocktails bars across the nation as we come to realize that this one classic toy has helped bring so many of us to orgasm over the years. But while we’re all loving the pleasure it brings, the thing that no one ever brings up is that, well, the traditional bullet vibe kind of sucks.
Now, I’m not talking about the actual vibe it provides. That's more than sufficient for thousands of women worldwide. I mean, the bullet is so popular and kind of genius because it’s small, discrete, and still packs a decent punch. It can also be used with other toys, like a harness or dildo, for awesome versatility and in fact bullet technology provides the vibration for a lot of other toys that aren't immediately recognizable as bullets. Nope, the problem with the classic 60mm bullet vibe isn’t how it does it’s job. It’s how it’s designed.
Seriously, we need to talk about that design. Classic bullets are almost always made out of cheap plastic that not only can crack (noooooope) but also contain all kinds of nasty chemicals that probably shouldn’t be near your very porous vulva and vagina. On top of that already massive issue, they tend to have inconveniently placed buttons and batteries that run out in like, an hour, leaving you scrambling frantically for new ones or out another eight bucks when you finally get around to replacing them. All in all, not a great customer experience.
Well folks, good new: The ever-fab sex toy company Crave is doing a limited release of their version of the classic vibe. Instead of cheap, crappy plastic, the Crave Bullet is made from stainless steel (and if you wanna be a baller about it, 24KT gold plating) and instead of batteries that run out in 40 to 60 minutes — creating serious amounts of toxic waste — it’s USB rechargeable. And, oh yeah, as if that wasn’t enough, it also has a recessed button in order to reduce those accidental turn ons (couldn’t resist) and a silicone sleeve that makes it waterproof so you can clean it easily or get your groove on in the shower.
The Crave Bullet joins the already impressive roster of sex toys on the Crave lineup. My personal favorite, which I can’t seem to ever stop talking about, is the Vesper, which is like a step up from a standard bullet and also has a subtle power button. So while I haven’t personally tried the new Crave Bullet, I can absolutely say that Crave knows how to make a powerful, beautiful, easy to clean vibe that you will never regret spending your hard earned dollars on.
Look, sex toys are awesome. Bullet vibes are awesome. But the current state of bullet vibes is a sad affair. I think we should stop wasting your money on cheap plastic vibe after cheap plastic vibe — and stop contributing to the very serious degradation of our environment — and treat ourselves to a Crave Bullet instead. Check out their crowdfunding page on Tilt for the initial round of 500 or else head over to their homepage for retail options. You won’t regret it.
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Images: Giphy; Crave